The Hot Cold Healer
by headlesshuman
Summary: What if instead of having a son minato had a daughter and what if he was so filled with fatherly pride he didn't realize he grabbed the wrong child?  Watch as naruto senju takes the shinobi world by storm
1. A senju is born

"SCRAAAA" the Kyuubi no Kitsune roared as its nine tails whipped though the air smashing its relatively pint sized enemies. Standing before it in an act of defiance was a large white and blue slug on top of it was a woman. Tsunade's dark brown eyes stared intensely at the over sized canine in rage. Her long blonde hair whipped through the air as the Ktsune's tail kicked up the air around them. Her sore pale body covered in only her hospital gown and sweat from the fifteen hours of grueling labor to bring her newborn son into the world. And after the all the pain of childbirth along with the miracle of having a child at her age there was no way she was going to let the demon anywhere near it.

"Katsuyu ready to take this mutt down a peg" Tsunade growled.

"Ready Mistress" Katsuyu replied.

Tsunade flashed through a series of seals as Katsuyu sucked in a large amount of air. Until she finally stopped the exact same time Katsuyu let out a large blast of air. She spat a large amount of yellowish liquid.

Suiton: Starch Syrup Capture Field

Fuuton: Great Breakthrough

The two attacks collided spreading the sticky liquid out even further. Kyuubi was knocked onto its stomach but failed to get back up the syrup holding it down but only just barely. But that didn't matter her job was only to slow it down long enough for the Yondaime to finish his project.

'You better get your ass here soon you idiot' Tsunade thought to her self. Then as if summon by the mere thought of him, the man in question arrived on Gamabunta holding a small bundle in his arm.

"About time you got here u idiot, I had no clue what I was going to do next" Tsunade shouted. "What's that in your arms?"

"My baby" he replied a big smile on his face.

'Only he could call a seal a baby' she thought dumbfounded. "Well I'll leave every thing to you then if u haven't heard there's a baby boy that needs his mommy" she said before dispelling her summon and disappearing into the forest towards Konoha.

The Yondaime let out a sigh. "Well son it's now or never"

Konoha Hospital

20 minutes later

Konoha Hospital was currently in mass panic the large number of injured Nin coming in was over whelming the doctors and medic Nin. But that's wasn't the part that had Tsunade concerned what had her concerned was that her assistant Shizune Kato was currently in tears and was being comforted by her fellow sannin Jiraiya , which was a big clue that something bad happened if he wasn't taking advantage of it in even the smallest of ways. But the part that filled her with the most dread was that while all this was happening neither of them where holding her son.

"Shizune, what's going on? Where is he, where's my son?"

Well that's it chapter one of HCH.

Sorry if it was too short but I couldn't resist a cliffy.

Anyways I have no clue on a pairing so if you have on u like please tell me so in a review. So long as it's not Hinata cause pretty sure it wouldn't work.

Oh and as embarrassing as it is to ask if anyone knows how the beta thing works please tell me in a pm.


	2. A Fair Trade

AN: I don't own Naruto, bleach, Rosario + vampire and a few other stuff.

Ha no lawsuits no :p

****

Konoha Hospital

Konoha Hospital was currently in mass panic the large number of injured Nin coming in was over whelming the doctors and medic Nin. But that's wasn't the part that had Tsunade concerned what had her concerned was that her assistant Shizune Kato was currently in tears and was being comforted by her fellow sannin Jiraiya , which was a big clue that something bad happened if he wasn't taking advantage of it in even the smallest of ways. But the part that filled her with the most dread was that while all this was happening neither of them where holding her son.

"Shizune, what's going on? Where is he, where's my son?"

The younger girl shook violently as tears streams down her face. She turned and wailed into the chest of the very much older man who put his arms around her trying his best to comfort her. He looked at his friend teammate and sister in all but blood and told her something that drown every last ounce from her face.

"Minato took him. He thought it was Kushina's and wouldn't listen when she told him different" he sighed suddenly looking older then even they're own teacher. "He thought she was trying to trick him into not doing it so he knocked her out, grabbed the kid and left. She just came to when I got here a few minutes ago".

"No there's no way he could've done that" she said clearly in denial. "He knows he was having a girl I told Kushina myself the exact gender".

Jiraiya shook his head. "She never told him said she wanted it to be a surprise".

"Well then let's go, we have to stop him before he does anything "she said rushing to the door. Only to be affected once again by the news Jiraiya had.

"It's too late, its already done the council is meeting right now to decide what to do about him" he replied his voice shaking with emotion.

"And why aren't you there defending him" she growl turning from heartbroken women to angry mama bear in no time flat. She stomped back out the door, her rage growing with each step.

"Where are you going?" he called behind her.

"To get back my son" she snarled back.

****

Council Room

10 minutes later

Sarutobi Hiruzen looked out at the people before him trying to gage their reaction to what he just revealed so he could act accordingly. Shimura Danzo was the most obvious even with half his face covered in bandages and a tried not to show emotions he could still see the man just imagining the child before them as an obedient human weapon willing to kill at they're slightest whim. Next Tsume Inuzuka was a tall feral looking woman who on the other hand wanted to adopt him if only on maternal instincts alone. Then there was Shibi Aburame a spiky haired man wearing sunglasses and a high collar coat and he was one of the few that stood by Sarutobi in just allowing the boy to live in one of the orphanage and just see where it goes. The last group was lead by Homura Mitokado and Koharu Utatane were Sarutobi's elderly advisors who at the current time wanted Naruto dead and sadly that was the side that got the most backers.

They argued and bickered over of the young infant so much that they didn't noticed until they last minute the massive amount of killing intent heading towards them. Then the doors slammed open so hard that the door fell off the hinges, an ANBU in a bear mask slid across the floor. Standing at the door way with her fist still in front of her and her KI coming off her in waves Tsunade Senju was ready to tear them apart. In a strange contrast cradled in her arm was a small bundle something none of the councilor members seem to notice.

"How dare you interrupt the council, Tsunade Senju" Homura said his voice echoing off the walls.

Tsunade glared at him and a shiver creped up him spine. "My son".

The hall was silent not yet sure what was going on until Shibi decided to ask the question everyone wanted to ask. "What about your son?"

"Give me….my son" she roared her nails biting into her palm so deep it drew blood.

"Miss Senju I believe you have your child right there" Homura replied sweat streaking down the sides of his face as he struggle through her KI.

"No this is the child that bastard you call a kage was suppose to use" she growled as she pulled the cloth on the bundle back revealing the face of a blond haired baby girl. "This is Ageha Uzumaki, the daughter of the Yondaime. if you want her returned safely you will give me my son back and let us leave with absolutely no repercussions if not then I'll snap her neck and take him back by force".

"Do you honesty believe you can take us all by your self" Fugaku Uchiha smirked.

"She's not alone" Jiraiya called as he walked into the room stopping beside his fellow sannin. Fugaku smile disappeared he just like everyone else knew that they were to tired to stand much of a chance against both sannin.

"Fine" Sarutobi answered surprising everyone there. Tsunade nodded before rushing to the crib before them and switching the two children. She then quickly made her way out of the room Jiraiya by her side. Just outside the door was Shizune with a back pack full of scrolls, fulling into step with the other two they then made they're way to the village west gate.

"So what do you two plan now?" Jiraiya finally asked.

"Raise my son , travel, kill any one who goes after him, you know mom stuff" Tsunade replied.

"Well then I'll be sure to check up on you guys every once in a while and try my best to keep as many of your enemies off you three as I can." Jiraiya answered.

Thanks"she said receiving a nod before he jumped into the trees. She looked down at her son who smile up happily at her and she just knew things would be ok.

****

Well that's it chapter 2 hope you like.

Special thanks to god of all for being my first (and so far only) reviewer.

So please review every on I need to know what I can do to improve my story for u.

Pairing ideas so far:

Fuka

Anko

Ino

Temari


	3. Cliche zabuza fight scene

Ok sorry it took so long but my internet got cut off so I couldn't post it up and to be honest I was planning to do it tomorrow so I'd get like a full week each chap. But my dad got in a bike accident and I was writing chap 4 to distract myself from freaking out. And I figured I might as well put up this chapter for all u nice pacient readers. I mean you god of all and Echo Uchiha who for some odd ass reason were the only ones who review so boys (or girls) take a bow. As for those of you who fave'd or alerted my story I hope this chapter is good enough for you to review. Cause that's as close to payment as we get in this thing.

A/N: I don't own Naruto bleach or anything that I haven't personally created. So yea back off before general scaly bottoms finds his next meal.

Naruto Senju lay sprawled out on his boat, his fishing rod attached to the side of the boat ready for him to grab at the slightest tug. It was so peaceful he almost regretted not going fishing in wave country sooner. But then again this wasn't the real reason he had come; Karin, one of his friends had stopped replying to all of his letters for weeks and then two days ago he heard about the infamous drug lord/corporate Mogul Gatou started going into the human trafficking business. And someone like Karin would definitely be worth a lot money. So here he was in a lake somewhat close to share trying to attract any bandits that passed by. But then the boat rocked violently as if threatening to flip over.

He sat up turning his head every which way and that's when he saw them, ninjas they were the cause of his current fishing problem. A weirdo with Bandages around the lower half of his face and a giant sword holing a silver haired guy in a ski mask inside a bubble. If he had looked further down he might have noticed the three terrified kids surrounding an elderly man. Whom at the moment was chugging down sake like it was water. But lucky for them he didn't see them instead he saw two idiots one of whom most likely connected to whatever happened to Karin.

"Hey idiot, you're scaring the fish" Naruto yelled as stood up on the boat.

"What did you say brat?" the face bandaged man growled (or maybe that was just his normal voice).

"You're scaring my fish!" he said his voice getting louder and louder each time.

"Go away brat" the bandaged man sighed. "Can't you see the ninja fighting?"

Naruto flipped him off as an answer which made him growl even more. The bandaged man flipped through a set of seals as the water near him began to pull itself up out of the water.

"Suoton: mizu—" "Katon : Endan"

A large ball of fire hit the transforming water turning it to steam. Then as a follow up the water around him began to sink swirl turning themselves into four large whirlpools. The bandaged man's eyes widened as he realize that he had to either let the other man while he dodges or they both get hit.

"Suiton: Suigadan - Water Fang Projectile"

The whirlpool jumped out of the water drilling towards them. The bandaged man waited until the last possible minute before jumping away leaving the other guy to take the hit. But lucky for him he was able to replace himself with a log that was conveniently floating nearby.

"Thanks for the help" the silver haired man said.

Naruto eyes narrowed before he bit his thumb and started flipping through seals. "Screw you; I'm kicking your ass too". He slammed his hand into his palm before a poof a smoke came out.

"Kuchiyose no Jutsu - Summoning Technique: Sode no shirayuki"

As the smoke cleared it revealed a sword in his hand. The sword was pure white with a hollow snowflake-like guard and a white ribbon forms from the pommel from the end of the handle. A cruel smirk formed on his face as he looked at his two vic- I mean opponents. He thrusted his sword forward into the air before him.

"Tsugi no mai: Hakuren"

A wave of ice and snow burst from the tip of the sword before turning into a full blown avalanche. It covered the entire lake and most of the shore in ice. Only by quick thinking were all of the shinobi able to escape it unharmed, all except for one. The bandaged man was knocked off his feet before half his lower body was pinned to a tree. Completely exhausted he was able to just barely pull himself away from the tree. He stood on shaky near frozen legs using most of his strength to just stand before collapsing onto his knees.

"You're done asshole how about you give up now and instead of killing u I just leave you two with the Mizukage" Naruto said his breathe steaming out before him. But before he could reply three senbon needles fly through the air and implant it self into the man's neck making him fall over dead. A young man with a mask and a battle kimono jumped out from the trees and kneeled down next to the body.

"Thank you for you're assistance with out you're help I never would have gotten him" the young man said as he checked his targets pulse.

"Hey you're a Mist Hunter Nin right?" Naruto asked before getting a nod as a reply. "Then why are you wearing an outdated uniform?"

The fake hunter stiffed as he looked up a Naruto his grip on the unconscious man tightening. They're mind was telling them to do one thing and one thing only and that was to flee. They panicked shouting a phrase that would hopefully give them courage but just came out as weird. "UP, UP, AND A SHUNSHIN" and then vanish in a swirl of water.

"Oh Mei is so gonna kick my ass" Naruto said with a sigh. He turned to the four remaining ninja and one civilian. "Well looks like I'm going to be helping you guys until I can take care of those guys.

"Well that's great you're more then welcome to join us" the silver haired man replied with an eye smile that contradicted his tense battle ready stance. But Naruto ignored him opting to instead take a look at the four others still on shore. There was a boy with black hair in the shape of a duck butt hair. A drunk man nursing a bottle of sake. A pink haired girl wearing a bright red dress and a large forehead, along with girl with light blonde hair and blue eyes and he knew her instantly.

The girl who spot he took.

The girl who should've beard his burden.

The bitch who was suppose to have the Kyuubi no Yoko.

Ageha Uzumaki.

Well that chapter 3.

So since no body vote for a pairing I can't do anything about it yet so oh well.

But here's something I'll leave u with do u want Haku to be a boy or girl

I can't finish my next chap till you give me a reply.

So review plz.


	4. Part where you should just watch porn

**A/N:****sorry****it****took****so****long****but****for****some****reason****I****couldn****'****t****upload****on****fanfic.****But****anywho****here****it****is****its****kinda****short****mainly****cause****I****kept****editing****it.****Oh****stupid****me****I****just****realized****I****never****put****the****pairing****poll****up****dumb****move****huh.**

**Bankai777:****while****zangetsu****and****benihime****would****be****awesome****for****Naruto****I****think****my****version****has****two****zanpakutos****that****go****better****with****his****theme.****And****while****I****haven****'****t****planned****for****him****to****show****up****for****the****exam****he****and****a****few****friends****may****go****to****see****how****his****one****time****student****does.****While****the****rest****is****pretty****much****anybody****'****s****guess.**

"Well as fun as it is sitting around being stared at can we please move on to the part where you get over my sheer awesomeness and get to the part where you tell me what I want to know" Henry said a bit un nerved by they're stares. Even the daughter and grandson were gawking at him as soon as he came in the houses which happen to set off a red flag. But what made it worse was that **She** was staring as well. It sickened him to looked at her while she had that look at her while she had that stupid look on face. It was a mixer of awe happiness, relief, fear, and barely hidden lust. If he wasn't so uncomfortable he probably would've choked the life out of her by now.

"So what are you doing in wave?" asked the silver haired Cyclops otherwise known as Kakashi.

"I'm looking for my sister she was her looking for herbs that grow solely here but I haven't heard from her in weeks and I was told that some Gato dude was kidnapping and selling locals" he replied.

"This sister got a name?" Kakashi said an eyebrow rising.

"Karin"

"So why exactly didn't you come here with her?"

"Doesn't matter!" Naruto snapped. "Look it works like this either you let me help which means I get to use the old man as bait or you say no and stay put of my way before I decide to kill you".

"And what makes you think you can take us?" the only boy on the team sneered.

"Well little boy your sensei's tired and you three are to green to even make me sweat" Naruto smirked.

"I think you should do it" The old man's daughter said surprising everyone Naruto included. "I think I met his sister a few times and if it was the same girl then from what she's told me he'd be more than enough to beat you and still be able to take down all of Gato's men right after".

"He he, Yup that's my little sister all right over exaggerating anything thing she think she can get away with. Even when she has no clue how many guys he has." Naruto chuckled.

"Well she does now" Tsunami replied making Naruto stop.

"What do you mean?" Kakashi asked since Naruto seemed to be stuck in a stunned silence.

"Some of Gato's men took her one day they'll probably sell her to that Orochimaru person that comes around to buy them for lord knows what"

"Well isn't that just great this just had to get extremely complicated" Naruto whined.

Kakashi looked over to Tazuna thinking over this new bit of information. From the look of shear surprise on the man's face when they started talking about kidnappings it was obviously new to him. He was definitely going to need to call back up along with accepting the new guys help if he was to have even a chance against someone like Orochimaru. With a sigh and a nod he gave in to the voice in his head that told him to accept the unyouthfulness of the situation and just do all he can to protect his youthful students.

"We're also forgetting something extremely important" Naruto said surprising everyone. "Momochi and that fake hunter nin are still out there waiting to attack us."

"Don't worry about that my team and I can handle them. We'll just have to do some last minute training to prepare" Kakashi replied.

"Alright then if that's all then I'm going to bed" Naruto said as he made his way up the stairs and to his rook.

The next day was a rather peaceful day, the forest surrounding the house was quiet the only sounds came from the three genin training some distance away from they're temporary home. Naruto walked along the path until he found them in a small clearing running up trees while Kakashi watched from the side. He walked over to Kakashi's side to watch them

"So you have them doing tree walking?" Naruto asked the silver haired masked sensei.

"Yes, it's quite helpful for chakra control along with endurance" Kakashi replied. "Would you like to give it a try? I think it would be a nice way to build trust between you and my team."

"Don't kid your self Hatake. We both know if it came down to it I'd dump your team in a heart beat if it got me my sister back" Naruto explained.

"That maybe true but until then don't you think its best we all work together?" Kakashi countered.

"Yes but I'm sure that would last about as long as it takes until your back up arrives" Naruto stated and was only answered with silenced which he took as his cue to leave.

"Where are you going" Kakashi called but was only ignored.

As Naruto walked through the town he couldn't help but feel more and more like gutting Gato. The children ran through town playing with anything they could find from sticks and rocks to actual fish bones. A few feet away from him were two small girls maybe 5 or 6 playing with dolls that were nothing more then bunches of sticks tied together. They're parents watched them closely as they shopped for dramatically over priced food that they knew would have to be rationed severely just to get them through the week. The store owners stood at the counter with frowns disliking them selves so much because the prices but knew they had to if they even wanted to pay for Gato's 'protection'.

Finally he walks into the store and begins looking on the shelves hoping they would somehow have what he was looking for. Rows upon rows of shelves he went through before for finally finding it the last two to be exact. He inspected them in his hand hoping they would still be somewhat useable.

"Excuse me do you need both of them because I happen to need one very badly" the voice of a young girl asked from behind him. When he turned around there stood a girl maybe a year or so older than him with long black shoulder length hair, pale skin and large, dark brown eyes. She wore pink sleeveless, low-cut kimono, with pale red edges and decorated with small plum-colored swirls, that went all the down to her ankles. Around her waist was a simple white obi tied in a bow, she wore a pair of light brown sandals with dark straps, and wore a black choker on her long slender neck.

"And what exactly would an attractive young lady like you need with something like devil's Flower for?" he asked.

"My father" she answered. "He works with ice and just a few days ago hurt his hands working too long and I need it to treat him".

Naruto smirked. "Wow that's a pretty convincing lie Miss Hunter-Nin I almost believe you there for a second."

She froze. "I…I have no idea what your talking about".

"You know even though you tried to disguise your voice, they still sound pretty close to each other" he explained. "Just so you know the new mizukage will be here in a few days and when she does you'll want to be on our side if you want to live".

_'__No__way__could__we__beat__a__Kage__especially__if__they__beat__the__last__one__'_ "Understood I will talk to Zabuza about this " Haku replied.

"You have three days to meet me in the field a few miles from here to give me answer after that then I'll assume it means no" Naruto said before shoving a devil flower into her hand. After paying for both they're purchases he walked back to Tazuna's house because evidently he had a letter to write to his aunt.


End file.
